325 Million reasons to scratch your head

Recently the sports world was shook up a bit by the new contact signed by Miami Marlins outfielder Giancarlo Stanton, who until last year was known as Mike Stanton.  It seems really easy to change your name when you are famous.  A regular person does that and the first thing that pops into my head is “nerd alert” and I call them by their previous name until they no longer talk to me.  Stanton recently signed a 13 year $325 million contract, making him the richest paid player in the history of major league baseball, which is saying something when you think how over paid baseball players are these days.  I found the number a bit shocking and have decided to perform a little exercise.  I don’t really believe people fathom what a huge amount of money this is.  So below I am going to break it down into some real world style numbers so everyone can see just how cartoonish this whole thing is.  Just a quick note, I do understand how sports contracts work and money loading in different years and opt out clauses, but it doesn’t change 1 simple fact.  If he stays with the team past year 6 of the deal, he will get all the money.  I doubt anyone walks away from $218 million at age 31.  So what I will do is break the contract down into equal pay for each year over the 13 years and hopefully everyone will get an idea of how much money this really is.

Breaking down the money, $325 spread out evenly over 13 years equates to $25 million a year.  Further broken down, this is $68,500 a day (rounded up slightly to make the math easier).  Think about that for a second.  Waking up each morning with $68,000 in the bank.  It is stunning, and when you begin to think what could be done with that level of money, it becomes staggering.  Here we go.

The average cost of food for a family of 4 is around $300 a week.  Based on some estimates I saw online that is a bit on the high side.  Anyway, over 52 weeks that equals about $15,600 a year.  This means that one day of this contract could buy food for 3 families of 4 for the entire year, leaving about $22,000 a day left.  So everyday, 3 families of 4 could be fed for a whole year and there would still be enough money left over per day for an $8 million a year payday.  Just think about that for a second.  That is food for 1095 families for a year when you compound it over an entire year of his contract.  Crazy stuff.

Save the children is a child sponsorship charity where you can sponsor a child and help them get schooling, shoes, food, etc.  They were given a high rating on the charity watchdog websites I checked out so I will use them here as an example.  They estimate is costs around $400 a year to sponsor a child.  Lets use 60,000 of those daily dollars and see what kind of difference can we make.  For $60,000 a day you can sponsor 150 children a day for a full year.  Spread that out over a year and that is 54,750 children getting a full year of sponsorship.  Or you could load up and just create 150 super kids by continually sponsoring the same set everyday for a year.  That is a whole lot of food and clothes.  This would leave you with almost 3 million a year left over the 13 years of the contract. So you are still rich and a whole bunch of kids get to eat and not freeze to death.   Ok, so that was just some heavy charity stuff to point out the Mr Burns level of ridiculous money we are dealing with.  Now,  lets have some fun!

If you took $40,000 of the daily money you would be able to buy 333 pairs of new Air Jordan’s everyday.  That means you would have close to a full years worth of new shoes everyday.  If you did this for one year, you would have enough Air Jordan’s for you, your son, and your son’s son to wear a new pair every single day for their whole lives with shoes to spare, while maintaining around $8 million a year salary.

Using $33,750 you could buy 75 PlayStation 4s and corresponding online memberships per day.  Over a full year you could buy almost $28,000 PlayStation systems,  create the largest standing army in the history of Call Of Duty, and conquer the online gaming world as we know it today.  This would still leave you somewhere in the $12 million range for food to eat and strippers to give you hand jobs while you deliver maximum pwnage to your enemies.  If you think there is a typo in that sentence you are not a gamer but should consider it because it is fun.

You could buy 4 Smart Cars a day, giving you 1,460 per year, and 18,980 after 13 years.  This will come just in time for you be fully prepared for the coming Apocalypse, where you can start calling yourself Lord Humongous, dress in all leather, and try and take over the vast wasteland of the US with your fuel efficient Smart Car road gang.

You could use an entire year of money and buy every person living in San Diego county 8 White Castle cheeseburgers each.  I am all in for that idea.

With 1 full days worth of money, you could buy 400 1 day park hopper tickets to Disneyland, which is quite a bit considering what Disney has done to families wallets over the years.

You could also take your wife to about 3,400 movies with one day of the contract, or tie your enemy to a movie theater seat and force them to watch a loop of all M. Knight Shyamalan movies that aren’t the 6th Sense until their head spontaneously explodes.  Either way, money well spent if you ask me.

When you start to break it down it is fun and amazing to see what someone could actually do with $68,000 a day.  This was mostly just for fun and I encourage you to do some of your own if you are bored at work, and if you are like me, that is constantly.  All kidding aside, this contract is ridiculous.  There is no athlete anywhere in the world playing any sport that is worth this much money, especially when you break it down like this.  But this is the world we live in.  Live sports is some of the most exciting TV because unless you work for a high end Vegas sports book, you really have no idea how it will end.  Well that is all for now, I have been slammed and work and before I get back to it, I have 8 White Castles with my name on them.  Thanks Giancarlo!






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