So it has come to my attention that KFC is out with yet another food item that belongs at some random state fair in Nebraska. Available in the Philippines is the newest edition to “I want to be more like Carl’s Jr and less like an actual food place” menu.
This is the new Double Down Dog. It is a hot dog, covered with cheese sauce (yes that is cheese not mustard) and wrapped in a fried chicken bun. This is just the latest edition to the ever growing Double Down line, which in my opinion is dangerously close to jumping the shark. You can refer to my previous food posts if you need to catch up on all the other sandwiches carrying the Double Down name. Not that any of the other ones were great but this one just seems like a reach. Kind of like casting Kevin Costner in a movie or referring to a Scientology as a religion. I attempted to reach the head of product development but was unable to. I was, however, able to find a picture of him.
Based on their recent menu additions, I doubt this is a shock to anyone. I mean, like most Hutts, Jabba is quite the shrewd business man and clearly enjoys a many different foods simultaneously slammed into his face. Plus if anyone gets out of line he has that weird rat-bird thing with him to peck their eyes out. However, this does raise concerns about the amount of possible Wookie meat in their food. So along with the fast food poster seen above, I always like to include a picture of the actual menu item so you can get a good idea what the actual finished product looks like. I snagged this one off twitter. It is below.
Holy Fuck! Someone should really have a talk with this hot dog about safe sex. He has no idea where that chicken has been and clearly just banged it out, raw dog style. Man, its hard to find words for this mess. It looks like something from one of those “what horrible thing just happened to my dick” dreams I used to have when I was a teenager. Has that happened to anyone else? I hope so otherwise I might need to see a therapist. And what are those little bits floating in that cheese sauce? They look green, maybe chives, pickles, or jalapeno? Hot dogs are great on their own, I just don’t see how this combo even works or why. I guess if you were planning on having a hot dog for lunch and a chicken for dinner, you could just eat this and call it a day. Only Jabba knows the answer to this question and he isn’t talking. So if you get to the Philippines make sure you hit the KFC early, apparently they are only offering 50 of these a day and they have been selling out for a full week. I am not sure if that speaks to how good these taste or how shitty the food is over there. Once again, where ever weird fast food hides, B.A.R.F will be there. Most likely at KFC since they seem to be really fucked up right now and at this point could put almost anything together with a piece of fried chicken.
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