Japan Fish Roe stuffed crust

The B.A.R.F Second Annual Over-The-Top Food Year End Wrap Up

Another year has passed and has been another banner year in weird, over the top food items.  I held off posting any updates for the last few months and decided to just put as much as possible into this year in review update.  For those of you not familiar with B.A.R.F and our work, you can go here , here , and under the B.A.R.F heading at the top of the page.  For the rest of you, you know the drill, so here we go.

Our first item comes to us from Krispy Kreme and Wilmington Blue Rocks baseball team

Sweet, Savory, and the Pork Sweats. Sounds like a great night out

Sweet, Savory, and the Pork Sweats. Sounds like a great night out

This is the Bacon Donut Dog.  A 1/4 pound hotdog with Bacon, rasberry jam, and a glazed donut bun.  This little number checks in at close to 800 calories so if you eat one for breakfast you only need one more meal to get you through the day.  Definitely the breakfast of champions.

No food update would be complete without an entry from good ole Carls Jr/Hardees.  They have brought this new breakfast “treat”

pork chop biscuit

This is the Pork Chop Biscuit breakfast sandwich, finally satisfying that group of people who wake up and say “man, I could really go for a greesey pork chop right now”.  Packed with a heart stopping 1400mg of sodium I would recommend eating it in your Dr’s office waiting room.  Oh and here is what it looks like in real life

Yum?

Yeah, that black thing sticking out is supposed to be a pork chop

Japan checks in with their first entry in this years list

french_cruller_chorizo

This is the French Cruller Chorizo sandwich.  This is Chorizo ( a spicy spanish pork sausage), onions, lettuce, and tomato, all on a French Cruller.  I don’t know about anyone else but when I think delicious spanish sausage and french pastry, the first country that pops into my mind is definitely Japan.  See the real life item below.

cruller chorizo real

I would guess that white stuff is mayo but since this item is from Japan it is probably some kind of horrible fish paste.

If you are like me, the only thing you can think about after finishing your meal is desert.  Thankfully Taco Bell and I are in total sync.  They have followed up their successful Choco Taco with this item that has the culinary world all a flutter.

tbell_capncrunch

These are crunch berry crusted donut holes with cream icing filling.  I have to admit, these look kind of awesome.

We zip of to New Zealand for this little specialty pizza item

newzealand_marmite crust

This is cheese and Marmite stuffed crust pizza.  What is Marmite? Glad you asked. It is a paste made by adding salt to the yeast by-products of the beer brewing process…so basically they scrape the sludge off the insides of beer vats and make it into a sandwich paste.  From posts I have read, it is “salty”, “thick” and an “acquired taste” which means it is gross and most likely tastes like making out with Tara Reid.  It is also banned in Canada and Denmark so I would think twice before chomping down on this one.

China checks in with the Ramen Noodle Sandwich

Ramen_burger

Clearly born from the minds of 3 stoned college students at 2am when their Doritos supply ran out, this looks like a pile of ramen noodles on a bun with mystery meat sauce.  I had trouble finding more info on this but it does come with chopsticks and a side of duck sauce.  I honestly have no fucking idea why this was made, I mean, why not just eat the noodles? What the hell is the bun for? Weird.

These next two items come to us from the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers minor league baseball team.  I discovered this year that they are using over the top food to get people into minor league baseball stadiums, and they are really going for it. Here is the first one.

grilled cheese burger

That is the Grilled Cheese Bacon Cheeseburger.  A very straight forward food, it is a bacon cheeseburger that uses two grilled cheese sandwiches instead of buns.  This actually looks pretty damn good I wouldn’t mind chowing down on it.  The second one I am not so sure about

funnel burger

This monstrosity is the Funnel Burger.  It is 2  funnel cakes dusted with powdered sugar surrounding a 1/4 pound bacon cheeseburger.  Though you can’t find the calories on their website, I did a bit of research.  The average funnel cake probably runs in the neighborhood of 700-800 calories. This has 2.   Add in the burger, cheese, and bacon and you are most likely some where close to 2200 calories and enough saturated fat to instantly kill an elephant.  But hey, it does have some lettuce so you don’t feel too guilty.

Pizza Hut has really been stepping up its over the top food game lately so this next one came as no surprise

malaysia golden crown pizza

From Pizza Hut Korea, I give you the Golden Fortune Cheesy Crown Pizza.  It is a pizza with prawns, fish, crabsticks, pineapple, and what they are calling a golden cheesy crown (the little spurting giant zit looking things around the outside).  Even if I was starving to death, I would probably pause for a minute and contemplate death before taking a bit of this thing.  Especially those creamy dog penis things….yikes.

Our friends north of the border check in with this sandwich offering

McAnything immediately makes it questionable

McAnything immediately makes it questionable

Yum, a lobster sandwich from McDonald’s.  I couldn’t think of a better place for a quality seafood meal than one prepared by people sweating to death under heat lamps while wearing paper hats. Now pass me some McButter and McTartar sauce and lets get busy.

It seems impossible to ruin donuts for everyone but this Dunkin Donuts in China has done just that

porkandseaweed

You are not reading that sign wrong.  That is a dry pork and seaweed donut.  Talk about something that just looks completely unappetizing.  I don’t think it gets much grosser than that, but if you really want to simulate this and save the money on your flight, take a donut and rub in on the ground under your couch and then eat it.  The look should be almost exact and I bet the taste wouldn’t be much different either.

The final entry is not real but it should be

carbonite pop tart

Seriously, how cool is that!  I added this one even though it isn’t real because someone, somehwere has to make this happen.  I would eat these everyday.  This is concept art by a Star Wars fan.  I couldn’t find out who made it but they are a genius.  I love it and want a box for myself.  Not sure what flavor that icing would be, maybe grape.  Not sure it would even matter what flavor, I would own many of these.

Well there you have it.  Some over the top items from last year to make you drool or cringe depending on your taste buds and sense of adventure.  I am now off to write 1000 letters to Kellogg’s about making these Han Solo pop tarts.  I suggest you do the same.

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