About Me

I am a close to middle aged married man with a son, a dog, and a mortgage on a house I would rather burn down than live in.  I know what you are thinking.  You are looking at my picture and thinking “I don’t remember seeing this guy in any Simpson’s Episodes” and you would be right.  I have severe jaundice.

I have lived on both coasts in multiple states before settling down here in sunny Southern California.  I am slightly bitter and find life to be filled with absolute weirdness, so I decided to start writing about it. Mostly because at this point in our marriage, my wife can’t properly shut me up without running the risk of ending up on an episode of 48hrs Mystery, narrated by that old guy who looks like a zombie, and probably smells like one too.  You know that old person smell that is like a combination of moth balls and cat food.  This will basically get me out of her hair periodically and save our extended family from any further embarrassment.  I say further because I have already covered that area quite well.

I will most likely throw up some weekly thoughts but if I find myself in front of a computer more than usual during the week, most likely due to a my wife removing my leg irons, you might see multiple posts in a single week.

So poke around, read some posts and click some buttons.  One of them is a secret button that will lead to some sort of prize so good luck!

****Bitter BeardFace is not responsible for the claims made above or the actual existence of any prizes.*****



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